I married a young manly man. He loved to hunt and fish and play golf. He jumped from the highest tree swing into the river and looked great in cut off jeans. He became a family man and worked long hours to support our growing family.The kids grew up and are on their own. All those long hours were hard on his heart and he retired. Now we have a business that allows us to travel and enjoy our new life.
Last week, we were in an antique mall looking for merchandise, discussing item and prices, A lady with a strong accent said,' Don't you love that your husband enjoys being here with you." I told her that we had an antique business together that paid for our travel, I could tell that she was jealous, I get that a lot.
Yesterday, Mark sat with me as the doctor was explaining my conditions and was really paying attention. We discussed diet changes that could help with borderline numbers, and of course will help him also. Then we ate a healthy lunch and while he took a nap, I worked on my journal and rested. When He got up, we worked for hours, cleaning up the house. Before he retired, I'm not sure he knew where the kitchen was. But now he cleans the kitchen better than I ever did. We took a late afternoon walk and ate fish, grits and veggies for supper.
This morning, we went for a hike around local farms and through the woods. Mark move the briers out of the way and check for snakes around the logs for snakes before we stepped over them. He touched my shoulder to move me to the side when a huge dog came up to investigate intruders into his territory, while he talked gently to keep the dog calm. When we got to the big road that led back home, he touched me again to lead me away from the road side of the ditch, with out saying a word. After all these years, he still protects and provides.
I heard him say manly man under his breath as he tells me that he will clean out the fridge, while I finish the rest of the house. Next, we go up town for groceries to cook for the family that are gathering for the weekend and pick up our two precious little grand girls while their mom goes to an appointment. He is holding the baby now and talking to the the three year old.
If a manly man is a man that pleases his lady, then my man is the manliest man I know and the man that I choose to grow old with. .
Thursday, March 28, 2013
Sunday, March 17, 2013
What I learned
I was born in 56 and I am 56 years old. An interesting fact that only happens once in a life time. My daddy died at 52 and my brother died at 57, way too young. Aging is a very strange thing indeed.
Our children are all grown and gone, with lives of their own. With busy schedules and their own agendas. That is as it should be.
My oldest is a busy wife and mother of a teen and preteen; a business lady, photographer and on more committees than I can count.
My oldest son is a business man with lots of work and over time. He is a husband and the daddy of our precious little girls. He works at his church and mentors young people.
My baby boy is 29 and manages one Restaurant while opening another one with our son-in-law and planning a new life with his beautiful fiancee.
My baby girl manages a restaurant, teaches yoga and art; does charity work and is a long distant African mom to several orphans.
I am proud of all of them.
Even if they all seem to be allergic to talking on the phone. I call and do not get a call back, but if I text, they text right back.
Mark and I are busy with our little business and Red Cross and our love of travel. Life is good.
I love these independent kids, but I do miss being a part of their lives on a daily bases. I know that they love me, but every once in a while I get this feeling... well, you know..I am no longer their first love.. I know that this is how it is suppose to be.. Healthy kids grow up to be healthy adults and leave home. But, still.. I miss...them and sometimes wonder....
Then, I remember when Mark and I were a young couple with four kids and a crazy busy schedule and did not see Mark's Mom much. But, when she needed us, during those last two years, we were there. I gave Mark back to his Mom for that time period and she became the priority and I do not regret it for a minute. Family is family, sealed together by marriage, blood, history and love.
Last week, I had a health scare. Mark was out of town for his once a year Amigo trip with retired Farm Bureau buddies.
A simple visit to the doctors turned out to be a 32 hour adventure that was not a lot of fun. But, I learned a lot about my self and my kids.
I learned that I needed to know a lot of things that I did not think that I needed to know about my body and my numbers. And, that I need to take better care of myself.
I learned that my kids will always be there when I need them,. Two of them were there before I could even get out of Thomasville ER. The other two called constantly to check up on me. Every time that I went in for another test, they had a group meeting and would tell me what they were going to do. They worked together as a team and helped each other. I learned that it is going to be great having a nurse in our family as we age to help interpret what the Doctors are saying. I also learned that they still love their mama and want me to stay around for a while.
In an interesting role reversal:
I am getting calls from my youngest, telling me that I had better not be overdoing and that she is going to come up with a diet plan for IC, IBS, high blood pressure, high tri-something and , kidney problems . Good luck baby.
My baby boy sat by my hospital bed and told me that he remembered all of the times that I was the one sitting next to his hospital bed.
My eldest son spent the night in that uncomfortable chair/bed and then cooked me a healthy welcome home supper.
Then, there is the oldest. When did she become the one who could rally the troops and organize the family and hospital staff. So capable and in control.
I'm so glad that Mark is home now. But, in his absents, the kids proved they can take care of mama.
The next few weeks are going to be interesting as I figure out how to adjust to new life style changes and change life time habits. I know that I am blessed to receive a wake up call. Sometimes God has to do things to get my attention because He knows that I am clueless. He loves me anyway.
Thanks for the prayers.
Our children are all grown and gone, with lives of their own. With busy schedules and their own agendas. That is as it should be.
My oldest is a busy wife and mother of a teen and preteen; a business lady, photographer and on more committees than I can count.
My oldest son is a business man with lots of work and over time. He is a husband and the daddy of our precious little girls. He works at his church and mentors young people.
My baby boy is 29 and manages one Restaurant while opening another one with our son-in-law and planning a new life with his beautiful fiancee.
My baby girl manages a restaurant, teaches yoga and art; does charity work and is a long distant African mom to several orphans.
I am proud of all of them.
Even if they all seem to be allergic to talking on the phone. I call and do not get a call back, but if I text, they text right back.
Mark and I are busy with our little business and Red Cross and our love of travel. Life is good.
I love these independent kids, but I do miss being a part of their lives on a daily bases. I know that they love me, but every once in a while I get this feeling... well, you know..I am no longer their first love.. I know that this is how it is suppose to be.. Healthy kids grow up to be healthy adults and leave home. But, still.. I miss...them and sometimes wonder....
Then, I remember when Mark and I were a young couple with four kids and a crazy busy schedule and did not see Mark's Mom much. But, when she needed us, during those last two years, we were there. I gave Mark back to his Mom for that time period and she became the priority and I do not regret it for a minute. Family is family, sealed together by marriage, blood, history and love.
Last week, I had a health scare. Mark was out of town for his once a year Amigo trip with retired Farm Bureau buddies.
A simple visit to the doctors turned out to be a 32 hour adventure that was not a lot of fun. But, I learned a lot about my self and my kids.
I learned that I needed to know a lot of things that I did not think that I needed to know about my body and my numbers. And, that I need to take better care of myself.
I learned that my kids will always be there when I need them,. Two of them were there before I could even get out of Thomasville ER. The other two called constantly to check up on me. Every time that I went in for another test, they had a group meeting and would tell me what they were going to do. They worked together as a team and helped each other. I learned that it is going to be great having a nurse in our family as we age to help interpret what the Doctors are saying. I also learned that they still love their mama and want me to stay around for a while.
In an interesting role reversal:
I am getting calls from my youngest, telling me that I had better not be overdoing and that she is going to come up with a diet plan for IC, IBS, high blood pressure, high tri-something and , kidney problems . Good luck baby.
My baby boy sat by my hospital bed and told me that he remembered all of the times that I was the one sitting next to his hospital bed.
My eldest son spent the night in that uncomfortable chair/bed and then cooked me a healthy welcome home supper.
Then, there is the oldest. When did she become the one who could rally the troops and organize the family and hospital staff. So capable and in control.
I'm so glad that Mark is home now. But, in his absents, the kids proved they can take care of mama.
The next few weeks are going to be interesting as I figure out how to adjust to new life style changes and change life time habits. I know that I am blessed to receive a wake up call. Sometimes God has to do things to get my attention because He knows that I am clueless. He loves me anyway.
Thanks for the prayers.
Sunday, March 3, 2013
LISTEN
At the end of chapter 5, God said a lot by using only 5 words. I made the statement that there was probably a lesson there, but being a girl that love to talk, I did not want to see it. Then, before I went to bed, I picked up my Erma Bombeck's book and this is part of the chapter that I read. She wrote it February 1977
"There were 30 whole beautiful minutes before my plane took off, time for me to be alone with my own thoughts, to open a book and let my mind wander. A voice next to me belonging to an elderly woman said, "I'll bet it's cold in Chicago."
Stone-faced, I answered,"It's likely." I haven't been to Chicago in nearly three years," she persisted. "My son lives there." "My husband's body is on the plane. We've been married for fifty-three years. I don't drive, you know, and when he died a nun drove me from the hospital. We aren't even Catholic. The funeral director let me come to the airport with him."
I don't think I ever- detested myself more than I did at that moment. Another human being was screaming to be heard and in desperation had turned to a cold stranger who was more interested in a novel that the real-life drama at her elbow. All she needed was a listener. No advice, wisdom, experience, money, assistance, expertise or even compassion, but just a minute or two to listen. It seemed rather incongruous that in a society of super-sophisticated communication , we often suffer from a shortage of listeners.
She talked steadily until we boarded the plane, then found her seat in another section. As I hung up my coat, I heard her plaintive voice say to her seat companion, "I'll bet it's cold in Chicago."
I prayed, "please God, let her listen."
Why am I telling you this? To make me fell better. It won't help though."
Amazing to me that God can use an ancient story about a dead wicked king and a chapter from my favorite humorist to show me something important. God gave us two hears and one mouth. I have heard that since I was little. Don't get me wrong, I still love to talk. But maybe, just maybe, I need to listen, really listen more and talk less.
I know that on our DR's in New York that often, listening to our clients vent seem to mean more than the food we provided. This week, as we watched the flood water rise, our clients needed to talk about the flood of 2009 as the wondered," what is going to happen tonight?". Last night, the gentlemen was shaken up after the fire and all I did was ask what happened and he needed to tell us the whole story. When we opened the door of the Erv where we had retreated for light and warmth, his family and friends were standing there. We were delighted and we left him telling his friends what had happened and they listened and promise to be there for him.
Lord, help me be a better listener.
"There were 30 whole beautiful minutes before my plane took off, time for me to be alone with my own thoughts, to open a book and let my mind wander. A voice next to me belonging to an elderly woman said, "I'll bet it's cold in Chicago."
Stone-faced, I answered,"It's likely." I haven't been to Chicago in nearly three years," she persisted. "My son lives there." "My husband's body is on the plane. We've been married for fifty-three years. I don't drive, you know, and when he died a nun drove me from the hospital. We aren't even Catholic. The funeral director let me come to the airport with him."
I don't think I ever- detested myself more than I did at that moment. Another human being was screaming to be heard and in desperation had turned to a cold stranger who was more interested in a novel that the real-life drama at her elbow. All she needed was a listener. No advice, wisdom, experience, money, assistance, expertise or even compassion, but just a minute or two to listen. It seemed rather incongruous that in a society of super-sophisticated communication , we often suffer from a shortage of listeners.
She talked steadily until we boarded the plane, then found her seat in another section. As I hung up my coat, I heard her plaintive voice say to her seat companion, "I'll bet it's cold in Chicago."
I prayed, "please God, let her listen."
Why am I telling you this? To make me fell better. It won't help though."
Amazing to me that God can use an ancient story about a dead wicked king and a chapter from my favorite humorist to show me something important. God gave us two hears and one mouth. I have heard that since I was little. Don't get me wrong, I still love to talk. But maybe, just maybe, I need to listen, really listen more and talk less.
I know that on our DR's in New York that often, listening to our clients vent seem to mean more than the food we provided. This week, as we watched the flood water rise, our clients needed to talk about the flood of 2009 as the wondered," what is going to happen tonight?". Last night, the gentlemen was shaken up after the fire and all I did was ask what happened and he needed to tell us the whole story. When we opened the door of the Erv where we had retreated for light and warmth, his family and friends were standing there. We were delighted and we left him telling his friends what had happened and they listened and promise to be there for him.
Lord, help me be a better listener.
Saturday, March 2, 2013
It is written........it is a done deal
MENE, MENE, TEKEL and PARSIN
MENE=God has numbered the days of your kingdom and brought it to an end
TEKEL=you have been weighed in the balance and found wanting
PARSIN=your kingdom is divided and given to the Medes and Persians
Wow, God sure said a lot in three short words. Maybe there is a lesson here.
The rest of the story, as Paul Harvey would say, is wrapped up in two short verses, Daniel 5:30,31
"That very night Belshazzar the Chaldean king was slain. And Darius the Mede received the kingdom being about sixty two years old."
There you have it. The end of the Babylon empire.
However, the story of Daniel is not yet over. If you can not wait, read chapter 6
MENE=God has numbered the days of your kingdom and brought it to an end
TEKEL=you have been weighed in the balance and found wanting
PARSIN=your kingdom is divided and given to the Medes and Persians
Wow, God sure said a lot in three short words. Maybe there is a lesson here.
The rest of the story, as Paul Harvey would say, is wrapped up in two short verses, Daniel 5:30,31
"That very night Belshazzar the Chaldean king was slain. And Darius the Mede received the kingdom being about sixty two years old."
There you have it. The end of the Babylon empire.
However, the story of Daniel is not yet over. If you can not wait, read chapter 6
Eulogy for Daniel..............and Connie
It almost looks like the queen-mother and even the wicked king were writing a eulogy for Daniel
.
Daniel 5:11,12- The mother queen speaking, "There is in your kingdom a man who has within him the spirit of the holy God. In the days of your father light and understanding and wisdom..were found in him...and your father made him chief above all..because an excellent spirit, knowledge and understanding were found in him.
Daniel 5:14,16-The king speaking to him,"I have heard that the Spirit of the Holy God is in you and that light and understanding and excellent wisdom are found in you. And I have heard that you can give interpretation and solve problems"
Add to this that Danial was remembered as a significant, spiritual, superior, sensible and skillful man who had the integrity to refuse the king's gifts and reviewed and rebuked this wicked king. Now you have the making of a beautiful eulogy to this faithful man of God.
When I was in the tenth grade, we had a teacher who spent six weeks trying to teach from a book called, Spoonriver Anthology or was it Riverspoon Anthology. She was very discouraged that after six weeks, we could not even remember the title of the book. Any way, I do remember that we all had to write our own epitaph or eulogy. At sixteen, I can imagine how shallow those turned out to be. What about now, What would we like to have written about us after we are gone. Erma Bombeck said she knew a lady who had written on hers, "See, I told you I was sick." I hope that we are leaving a legacy that our kids can be proud of and maybe even want to emulate. I think I would love to leave this:
Connie Sue Waller Fleetwood
Nov 1956-
She loved God, His Word and others
or maybe two words
She loved
or maybe one word:
Relationships
Love is a Grandparent
Erma Bombeck November 1974
That is the year I graduated from High school and the Month that I was born. Erma is timeless. I have a suspicion that I would not have "gotten it" if I read this column that year. But, today I get it.
"A grandparent can always be counted on to buy all your cookies, flower seeds, all-purpose greeting cards, transparent tape, pairing knives, peanut brittle and ten chances on a pony. ( Also a box of taffy when they have dentures.)
A grandparent helps you with the dishes when it is your night.
A grandparent will sit through a Greek comedy for three hours to watch her grandson and wonder how Aristophanes has time to write plays when he is married to Jackie Onassis.(yall maybe to young to get that one)
A grandparent is the only baby-sitter who doesn't charge more after midnight-or anything before midnight.
A grand parent buys you gifts your mother says you don't need.
A grandparent arrives three hours early for your baptism, your graduation and your wedding because he or she wants a seat where he or she can see everything.
A grandparent pretends he doesn't know who you are on Halloween
A grandparent loves you from when you're a bald baby to a bald father and all the hair in between.
A grandparent will put a sweater on you when she is cold, feed you when she is hungry and put you to bed when she is tired.
A grandparent will frame a picture of your hand that you traced and put it in her Mediterranean living room (a little dated furniture..that is what I had when I got married)
A grandparent will help you with your buttons, your zipper and your shoelaces and not be in any hurry for you to grow up.
When you're a baby, a grandparent will check to see if you are crying when you are sound asleep.
When a grandchild says, "Grandma, how come you didn't have any children?" a grandparent holds back the tears."
I looked her up to see if she ever became a grandmother. The best I can tell, she did not. I suspect she would have been a great one and would have had a lot of new material to write about. The thing that I love about her is how she sees humor in every day family life. We can all relate.
That is the year I graduated from High school and the Month that I was born. Erma is timeless. I have a suspicion that I would not have "gotten it" if I read this column that year. But, today I get it.
"A grandparent can always be counted on to buy all your cookies, flower seeds, all-purpose greeting cards, transparent tape, pairing knives, peanut brittle and ten chances on a pony. ( Also a box of taffy when they have dentures.)
A grandparent helps you with the dishes when it is your night.
A grandparent will sit through a Greek comedy for three hours to watch her grandson and wonder how Aristophanes has time to write plays when he is married to Jackie Onassis.(yall maybe to young to get that one)
A grandparent is the only baby-sitter who doesn't charge more after midnight-or anything before midnight.
A grand parent buys you gifts your mother says you don't need.
A grandparent arrives three hours early for your baptism, your graduation and your wedding because he or she wants a seat where he or she can see everything.
A grandparent pretends he doesn't know who you are on Halloween
A grandparent loves you from when you're a bald baby to a bald father and all the hair in between.
A grandparent will put a sweater on you when she is cold, feed you when she is hungry and put you to bed when she is tired.
A grandparent will frame a picture of your hand that you traced and put it in her Mediterranean living room (a little dated furniture..that is what I had when I got married)
A grandparent will help you with your buttons, your zipper and your shoelaces and not be in any hurry for you to grow up.
When you're a baby, a grandparent will check to see if you are crying when you are sound asleep.
When a grandchild says, "Grandma, how come you didn't have any children?" a grandparent holds back the tears."
I looked her up to see if she ever became a grandmother. The best I can tell, she did not. I suspect she would have been a great one and would have had a lot of new material to write about. The thing that I love about her is how she sees humor in every day family life. We can all relate.
The hand writing on the wall
The King in chapter 5 is a very wicked king and is having a feast for his friends. It is a drunken orgy. At the height of this night of foolishness, he orders the holy vessels to be brought in from the temple and they drank out of them, toasting and praising their gods. The ultimate insult to the most high God of the Universe.
At that moment, the finger of a mans hand appeared and wrote on the plaster of the wall. Suddenly, the party is over. When the king sees it, his countenance changed. This proud, arrogant king has been reduced to terrified, knee-knocking puddle of mush. And who can blame him? When was the last time you saw the hand of God appear out of no where with a message just for you. He screamed for all of his "wise men" who could do nothing for him. Finally, the queen mother came in and sent for Daniel.
There is more to this story, but the phrase, see the handwriting on the wall is intriguing to me. It has come to mean that we can tell when things are not going well by the signs that we see around a situation. Like, if the boss hires someone who is younger and brighter and the new go-to guy, you realize that you may be cleaning out your next soon. I often heard this phrase, but never related it to this story. Any way the king is in trouble. Read the rest of chapter five to see what the message was and what it meant.
The straw that broke the camels back, another one of those crazy phrases, was when they messed with God's holy vessels. Today, if you are a child of God, then you are God's holy vessel. Think about that the next time you do anything that harms the body or harms one of God's children.
At that moment, the finger of a mans hand appeared and wrote on the plaster of the wall. Suddenly, the party is over. When the king sees it, his countenance changed. This proud, arrogant king has been reduced to terrified, knee-knocking puddle of mush. And who can blame him? When was the last time you saw the hand of God appear out of no where with a message just for you. He screamed for all of his "wise men" who could do nothing for him. Finally, the queen mother came in and sent for Daniel.
There is more to this story, but the phrase, see the handwriting on the wall is intriguing to me. It has come to mean that we can tell when things are not going well by the signs that we see around a situation. Like, if the boss hires someone who is younger and brighter and the new go-to guy, you realize that you may be cleaning out your next soon. I often heard this phrase, but never related it to this story. Any way the king is in trouble. Read the rest of chapter five to see what the message was and what it meant.
The straw that broke the camels back, another one of those crazy phrases, was when they messed with God's holy vessels. Today, if you are a child of God, then you are God's holy vessel. Think about that the next time you do anything that harms the body or harms one of God's children.
Friday, March 1, 2013
cooking 101.
Today we got through with Red Cross early and drove home. Mark is taking a nap. I finished the sweet little Amish christian romance book that I bought for Mom in Florida. I did my Dr. Jeremiah study on Daniel at 5:00 this morning and Mark is still napping.
So, I picked up my Erma Bombeck that is a accumulation of her column from the 60's, 70's and 80's. This is her part of one chapter called "The instead of cookbook"- November 4, 1965.
My kids will recognize me in these paragraphs.
"If I were writing a cookbook, I would naturally include my fake-it Casserole. You substitute a cup of noodles for a cup of asparagus. Then for the sour cream, you either add a tablespoon of vinegar to the milk you have on hand or forget about it entirely and add (are you ready Carrie) a can of cream of mushroom soup."
"If you don't have cream of mushroom soup, put in a cup of grated cheese. However, if you have the mushroom soup, add bread crumbs an some minced onion. If you have cheese but not the soup, sprinkle a little parmesan on top and slip it into the oven."
She adds several other made up recipes from things that you find in your house so that you do not have to go to the store. I realize now how I learn to cook. It was from being poor and living in the country and making do with what you have on hand. This is actually the recipe that I gave Carrie when she got married.
any meat
any pasta or rice
can of mushroom soup
mince onion. salt and pepper
cover with cheese
bake at 350 for 30 minutes
serve hot
So, I picked up my Erma Bombeck that is a accumulation of her column from the 60's, 70's and 80's. This is her part of one chapter called "The instead of cookbook"- November 4, 1965.
My kids will recognize me in these paragraphs.
"If I were writing a cookbook, I would naturally include my fake-it Casserole. You substitute a cup of noodles for a cup of asparagus. Then for the sour cream, you either add a tablespoon of vinegar to the milk you have on hand or forget about it entirely and add (are you ready Carrie) a can of cream of mushroom soup."
"If you don't have cream of mushroom soup, put in a cup of grated cheese. However, if you have the mushroom soup, add bread crumbs an some minced onion. If you have cheese but not the soup, sprinkle a little parmesan on top and slip it into the oven."
She adds several other made up recipes from things that you find in your house so that you do not have to go to the store. I realize now how I learn to cook. It was from being poor and living in the country and making do with what you have on hand. This is actually the recipe that I gave Carrie when she got married.
any meat
any pasta or rice
can of mushroom soup
mince onion. salt and pepper
cover with cheese
bake at 350 for 30 minutes
serve hot
The waiting game is over
We spent the afternoon offering snacks and water and clean up kits; boxes and care kits to residents. We listen to their stories of the flood of 2009 and watched the water rise. We wondered if we were really needed. Some people had already moved all there furniture out and the rest had truck beds and big trucks and family and friends sitting around and waiting and watching the water slowly rise. If you have the idea that once the rain stops the flood is over. You would be wrong. . Jack has always told us that flood is his least favorite DR to work and this one being in his own back yard is tough. With a storm, you go through and it is over and clean up and recovery begins. Not so with a flood. Red Cross has to call and alert volunteers to be on call and wait, putting their lives on hold for as long as they may be needed. We waited and watched, no one seem to need much that we had to offer.
Then, around 4:00, it was like a switch was flipped and every one was one there cell phone. We went back through one more time before they left and every one wanted all we had to offer. We gave out all but one of the clean up kits and cases of water and snacks and care kits. The water was still rising and it would soon be dark and decisions had to be made.
Mark and I got home 30 minutes before our neighbors came over for supper. We cooked country fried steak and mac and cheese and sauteed Zucs and rice and gravy and beans and corn and sliced tomatoes and cucumbers in 30 minutes. We would have been a good Rachel Ray guest and we enjoyed our guest.
Today, we need to pack a bag and go by fire station and get more clean up kits and drive back over to Valdosta. Please pray for the flood victims. As Jack says, it could get real ugly.
Then, around 4:00, it was like a switch was flipped and every one was one there cell phone. We went back through one more time before they left and every one wanted all we had to offer. We gave out all but one of the clean up kits and cases of water and snacks and care kits. The water was still rising and it would soon be dark and decisions had to be made.
Mark and I got home 30 minutes before our neighbors came over for supper. We cooked country fried steak and mac and cheese and sauteed Zucs and rice and gravy and beans and corn and sliced tomatoes and cucumbers in 30 minutes. We would have been a good Rachel Ray guest and we enjoyed our guest.
Today, we need to pack a bag and go by fire station and get more clean up kits and drive back over to Valdosta. Please pray for the flood victims. As Jack says, it could get real ugly.
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