Love is a Grandparent

Erma Bombeck November 1974

That is the year I graduated from High school and the Month that I was born. Erma is timeless.  I have a suspicion that I would not have "gotten it" if I read this column that year. But, today I get it.

"A grandparent can always be counted on to buy all your cookies, flower seeds, all-purpose greeting cards, transparent tape, pairing knives, peanut brittle and ten chances on a pony. ( Also a box of taffy when they have dentures.)
A grandparent helps you with the dishes when it is your night.
A grandparent will sit through a Greek comedy for three hours to watch her grandson and wonder how Aristophanes has time to write plays when he is married to Jackie Onassis.(yall maybe  to young to get that one)
A grandparent is the only baby-sitter who doesn't charge more after midnight-or anything before midnight.
A grand parent buys you gifts your mother says you don't need.
A grandparent arrives three hours early for your baptism, your graduation and your wedding because he or she wants a seat where he or she can see everything.
A grandparent pretends he doesn't know who you are on Halloween
A grandparent loves you from when you're a bald baby to a bald father and all the hair in between.
A grandparent will put a sweater on you when she is cold, feed you when she is hungry and put you to bed when she is tired.
A grandparent will frame a picture of your hand that you traced and put it in her Mediterranean living room (a little dated furniture..that is what I had when I got married)
A grandparent will help you with your buttons, your zipper and your shoelaces and not be in any hurry for you to grow up.
When you're a baby, a grandparent will check to see if you are crying when you are sound asleep.
When a grandchild says, "Grandma, how come you didn't have any children?" a grandparent holds back the tears."

I looked her up to see if she ever became a grandmother. The best I can tell, she did not. I suspect she would have been a great one and would have had a lot of new material to write about.  The thing that I love about her is  how she sees humor in every day family  life.   We can all relate.