Tuesday, May 20, 2014

9 months

The amount of time to birth a baby
Been there, done that
A few times

Yesterday,  while walking around our neighborhood, I thought about all that has happened  in the last 9 months.  We went from living in the country and hiking in the pecan orchard, to living in town hiking our neighborhood.  But that is only the beginning.  We have experienced nearly every situation, good and bad that can shake up a family and we are still standing.

 I think it began when I got the crazy notion to downsize.......

SO here we go:

House hunting
Megan finds us a house
Looked   at it once
Fell in love
Bought  it while traveling
Downsizing begins
Huge Yard sale
Crossroad mission
2 a days at Lowes
Family moves us in
 decorates our home
While we do yard sale
Guest 1st -  5 weekends
Begin new Bible study
Remodel stable
Paint
Help Clint move in
Paint
Help Square kids
Paint
Trip with Mom and Barb
Carries's big Art Opening
The Square opening
Drew and Megan Wedding
Decorate
Baby Mark born
Sara here, Sara gone
Birthdays, Birthdays
Join YMCA
Tennis
Building Stable
Exercise
Lose 50 lbs together
Stop YMCA
Building over
Too busy for tennis
Gain some back
Hiking
Give up sweet tea
 and Sprite..for now
Exercise
Losing again
Slowly
Antique Shows
Festivals
Working
Hiking
 Camping
Thanksgiving
Christmas
Florida trips
Buy buy buy
Sell sell sell
Travel travel travel
Hit two deer in two states
Hit in parking lot
Two adjusters
From two companies
Red Cross work
Valentines
Plant flowers
Family gatherings
Plant garden
Visit homestead:
goats
chickens
gardens
country girls
Visit Hostel in Forest
Sleep in Tree house
Doctor appts.
Visit Aunt Dot
Madison show
Time with Mom
Mom here
Mom's birthday
More Dr. appts.
Good Friday
Easter Sunday
Mom  in Heaven
Family gathering
Friends praying
Life goes on
Great nephew-married
Guest in Guest room
Baby sit Grands
Home
Gone
Home
Gone again
Home
Mark,  ready to go
Plays
Peacock festival
Painting again
Gymnastic
School events
Pre-K Graduation
Appalachian Trail
Trails Angels
Red cross Charity Golf
Drew's surgery
Family Stuff

I love my  family













Monday, May 19, 2014

A pillar of Fire

Hebrew 12:29b
"For our God is a consuming fire."

God presented Himself
As the "Pillar of Fire"
in the midst of uncertainty

The pillar of fire:

 Displays His awesome power
Encourages us to pursue Him
Leads us in the right path
Helps us sense His Holiness
Guides us through the day
Navigates us daily
Reveals His perfect plan
Draws us closer to Him,
closer to the flame
Shows us His love
Exposes sin
Makes us who we are
Allows us to bask in His light
and experience His presence
Helps us through challenges
Reveals His perfect plan
for our life.

God is the consuming fire that gives us:

Wisdom
Love
Holiness
Righteousness
Strength for today
Grace to serve
A passion to serve
Reverence toward Him
An all-consuming passion
to seek Him
A desire for His best

For our God is a Consuming Fire


Sunday, May 18, 2014

Grieving

It is Sunday. That means it has been four weeks. Tuesday is the 20th, which means, it has been a month. How long will I mark time as it relates to the day Mom died? It has been a long, crazy, busy month, full of good times and bad times.

The grieving process is a strange thing to go through, but  we must all go through it. Not only is it different for everyone, it is different with everyone we lose.There is no one way or right way. It is,  what it is, a process.

One of my first encounters with death was my friend,  Sara Pat,  losing her Mom and Grandmother to a bad wreck caused by a tire blow-out.  What do you say to her and how do you act?  After all, we were only in the fifth grade.  We learned . You treat her like Sara Pat, our friend.  We all went into her bedroom,  away from the adults. We  ate a bunch of snacks and talked and laughed and cried and helped her get though that first night. Remembering that night, I  took a bunch of snacks to the Stone's house. I took  them straight upstairs to Marilee's room; so that Sara and all of the friends could talk, and laugh and cry and try on make-up  and help her get through  that first night.

I had a girl friend lose a boy friend in a go-cart wreck. We were all upset that the local paper chose to put that  horrible picture on the front page and tried to hide all the newspapers from the family.The friends gathered. When we got there, she was wearing one of his shirts. It seem to bring her comfort.  We were all new drivers and I got stuck in their  garden backing out.  The daddy stopped grieving just long enough to tease me about my driving and to tell me to watch out, cause  "the potatoes have eyes and saw what I did."

It is always sad to lose a grandparent, We have lost all of ours, but it is seems to be in the natural order of things. But to lose a child....Just does not seem right.  Losing a child before they  are born is death to a dream and  all of the plans that we have for this child that we have already fallen in  love with and we need to grieve. Any one losing a child, becomes a member of a club that no one wants to endure, but  some must. When it happens, no matter what the age of the child, it is the worst pain you  can imagine.  I watched my Mom's pain when we lost  Hugh at 57,  and she never got over it.

When Hugh died,  it rocked my world.  He was my big brother and my  hero. When I jumped, I expected him to catch me...and he did, every time. He was fun and loud and the house lit up with excitement when he came home. I would see his car in the yard. He would hide and I would find and get a big hug. Cancer. I hate that word.  It took my big brother away from us.  For months I could not read my Bible or pray like before.   I was just so hurt and lost. But God found me and brought me back through a woman's retreat and friends'  prayers.

The night my Daddy died, I went to bed realizing that I was probably pregnant with our third child.  The phone rang at 2:30 am and Mom asked to speak to Mark and he held me while I cried.  I was given a gift for months after her died.  I dreamed about him often and he was always  wearing a red shirt and  every  thing seem natural and right..... and then I would wake up and remember.  But, those visits helped me get through those  first months.  You see, he was wearing a red shirt the last time I saw him and he always looked good in red.  It was Christmas and I can still see him by  the fence at Little Granny's house.  He called me the weekend before he died to ask us to come for a visit, but I had other plans.  I always regretted that.

I watched Mark lose both of  his parents  and his step-dad.  His Daddy died soon after we got married, before we had kids.  I never knew him healthy.  He was battling a rare disease that I could not pronounce or understand,  that may have had something to do with his being a WW11 vet.

His step-dad,  who became that after we were married and loved our kids like they were his own,  died suddenly and violently. He took his own life because of depression caused by medicine that he was taking  at the time. It was so sad and hard to grasp and changed the rest of  Mark's  mother's  life.  Mark had to take care of his Mom and help with all arrangements.  I was pregnant with our last child and was not able to help much.

 His Mom taught us how to die with dignity and grace.  Cancer.  I still hate that word.  She died at home after a two year battle with this terrible disease.  Mark and I were there.  It was one of  the hardest and in some ways the most beautiful experience of our life.  Watching  her go from suffering and struggling to becoming calm and relaxed and easing  into heaven. It brought Mark and I closer together than ever. The hospice nurse was great.

No one is exempt from these experiences.  We can lose spouses,  parents,  children, siblings,  aunts and uncles, cousins and friends. It is always hard. Death is a reality that we all have to live with.  Grieving is different for all of us.  It is different every time we lose someone that we love. But, we can find hope and comfort in God.

 It is a process, one day at a time.




Monday, May 12, 2014

Amazing Grace

Grace has  been the subject in my devotional book the last two weeks.

 So, I asked Siri to look up the word grace and got more than I bargained for.  Found 35 definitions and 75 lines of related words. Here are four.

1 Grace - The exercise of kindness, mercy and favor to benefit or bestow on another
2 Grace - The divine favor toward man by the mercy of God.
3 Grace - The female name meaning beauty, lovely, elegant of manners
                A good middle name for my middle granddaughter
4 Grace - Yielding grace or saying a blessing giving thanks to God

Grace is mentioned over 200 times in the New testament and 130 times in Paul's letters.

Ephesians 2:8," For by Grace  are ye saved through faith....it is the gift from God."

You can do two things with a gift
1) receive it
2) reject it

By Grace:  God gave His Son
                 Jesus gave His life
                  Holy Spirit gave us gifts
2 extremes when receiving  gifts
1) over estimating our gifts = pride, arrogance and self-importance
2) under estimating gifts = false humility, belittling God's gives and not developing  gifts to be used by God

Grace = unmerited favor

Grace guides my feet to walk with you, for you and toward you
Grace begins the trip
Grace  helps us enjoy the journey
Grace enables us
Grace shields and defends
Grace gives us our only hope
Grace helps us one step at a time
Grace helps us walk in faith in this journey called life
Grace begins our journey and it ends in glory

Kind of sounds like our Hikers

Grace bridges the gap between who I am and who I want to be
Grace makes us givers and not takers
Grace effects relationships
Grace causes His love to spill out of us
Grace makes us thankful and generous
Grace makes us treat others with kindness
Grace makes us sensitive to the needs of others
Grace forgives

God gives us grace that we do not deserve and can not earn
God,  help us treat  others  with grace ...even if they do not deserve it.

Help me to extend  the same grace to others that you extended to me.

Grace is a blanket of God's love all wrapped up in the gift of Jesus.

Amazing Grace